4 simple steps to start falling in love with yourself again

As we set out to improve ourselves, our biggest enemy is self-hatred. We box ourselves into an identity that we hate and then proceed to bang on that insurmountable box, hoping someone or something will let us out; all while, we crouch down into that box while destroying ourselves day by day.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can’t redeem yourself from this dark place. You can do it in these four simple steps. I’ll walk through a basic example of myself going through this process.

1) Identify someone whether real or fictional that you truly admire and figure out what you admire about them

For example, I admire Goku’s resolve to get stronger and his commitment to training every day simply because that’s simply who he is. It doesn’t matter whether he’s the worst or best fighter in the world. He’ll go out and train no matter what, and I love that about him

2) Take that character trait that you so admire and translate that trait into which actions you need to take to cultivate that character trait - actions affirm identity and identity affirms actions and self-beliefs

Goku’s dedication to getting stronger and training constitutes the actions of 1) Lifting weights to get stronger consistently 5-6 times a week and 2) Eating a diet with proper macros to build muscle and strength. So as long as I do these 2 things, I’m taking that part that I love about Goku and making that a part of me

3) Take the action each day, and acknowledge that you are doing the action because you embody the trait that you admire

‘Nuff said. Do the thing. As of late, I’ve been throwing the long Saiyan motivation mixes in my ears while I work out each day to remind me that I’m doing this because I’m on a journey to “go Super-Saiyan,” too. As stupid as it sounds, I haven’t missed a day in 3 weeks now, so take that for what you will.

4) After you complete the action for that day, give yourself a strong fist pump and yell out a loud HOO-RAH to celebrate yourself transforming into a person you love

This particular step has made working out an exhilirating part of my identity. When I work out now, I feel beastly, and it’s the key step that keeps me going day after day. When I start my mornings like this with a workout, I feel damn good about the day ahead.

So that’s it! You can do this with any personality trait. The given example is just to showcase a simple scenario where all four steps are obvious but at the end of the day, you can take any personality trait from any real or fictional individual that you admire and work those traits through these four steps to become someone you love.

Keep in mind, you don’t have to move mountains on day one to incorporate the personality trait you admire. Starting small is always better than not starting at all. I don’t think I’ll ever do a single thumb push-up like Goku, let alone 50,000, but it’s his commitment to fitness that matters, and that started for me with a single compound movement at the gym each day.

Every trait you add to your routine is a crack in that box you’ve trapped yourself in, and in due time, I hope all of us will find a way to give ourselves the unconditional love and forgiveness we truly deserve.